If you like to talk to tomatoes
If a squash can make you smile
If you like to waltz with potatoes
Up and down the produce aisle…
Have we got a show for you!
I love Veggie Tales!! I don’t care if people do claim that Veggie Tales is a “kids’ show”, I still love it and plan to keep right on watching it! If you’ve ever seen any of the shows, you might understand… I always watch them with my younger brothers, nieces, and nephew. As a result of this, I have memorized many Veggie Tales songs and quotes which I would love to share with you!
Bob: Okay, Larry, it’s time for the theme song.
Larry: Uh, y-yeah, Bob. What do I do?
Bob: Hm, let’s see. I know! You play the guitar.
Larry: Bob, I don’t have any hands.
Phillipe: Would you prefer poking or non-poking?
Self-Help Tape Voice: You are a skilled metal worker.
Khalil: I am a skilled metal worker? Oh, I did not know that!
Dad: Tree!… Cabin!… Underwear!
Pirate Pa,Larry, Mr. Lunt: [“The Credits Song”] This is the song that runs under the credits. These are the credits, so this is where it goes. Has nothing to do with the movie so we’ll say “Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!…”
Scallion #1: They’ve never given me a name. I’ve been around since show one and I still don’t have a name!
Haman (Mr. Lunt): We work in the same palace, but compared to me you are g-nat.
Mordecai (Pa Grape): Uh, the ‘g’ is silent. It’s ‘gnat.’
Haman (Mr. Lunt): Are you calling ME a g-nat?
Mordecai (Pa Grape): No! Just correcting your pronunciation.
Haman (Mr. Lunt): [shouts] Are you calling me stupid?
Jimmy Gourd: Boy, did I choose a lousy day to wear my contacts!
Jean Claude: I pity them, Phillipe!
Phillipe: Ah! Mais oui, Jean Claude, mais oui!
Jean Claude: Won’t you join me in my irritating little song?
Phillipe: It would be an honour.
Jean Claude: Hello, children! It was nice to meet you, now go away.
Jimmy Gourd: I have Slushy in my ear…
Tom Grape: How are we clapping?
Pa Grape: I have no idea.
Larry [singing] Everybody’s got a water buffalo / Yours is fast but mine is slow / Oh, where’d we get them? I don’t know / But everybody’s got a water buffalo-ooooooooo/ I took my buffalo to the store / Got his head stuck in the door / Spilled some Lima beans on the floor / Oh everybody’s got a…
Archibald: Stop it, stop, stop right this instant! What do you think you’re doing? You can’t say everyone’s got a water buffalo when everyone does not have a water buffalo! We’re going to get nasty letters saying, “Where’s my water buffalo? Why don’t I have a water buffalo?” And are you prepared to deal with that? I don’t think so! Just stop being so silly!
Larry: [singing] Everybody’s got a baby kangaroo / Yours is pink but mine is blue…
Pa Grape: Not so fast you lazies! Today we’re doing a little something.
Larry: Not again!
Mr. Lunt: We did something yesterday!
Pa Grape: All you did was order Chinese.
Mr. Lunt: Hey! It’s hard to say ‘moo goo gai pan’. Whoops! I did it again. I’m beat.
Mr. Lunt: I think you look like Captain Crunch!
Pa Grape: Huh? No I don’t!
Mr. Lunt: Do too!
Pa Grape: Do not!
Mr. Lunt: You’re making me hungry.
Pa Grape: That’s it! You’re walking the plank!
Mr. Lunt: Says who?
Pa Grape: Says the captain, that’s who!
Mr. Lunt: Oh yeah? Aye-aye, Captain Crunch! Hehehehe!
Pa Grape: Arrrrrrrgh!
Mr. Lunt: Yikes!
Larry: Don’t question the king’s grammar! It had to rhyme!
Billboy Baggypants: Today is my twelvety two-th birthday. I’m twice as tall as half of you and half as short as twice of you.
Eagle: WHAT was THAT? Oh! There’s a bird! Let’s jump on him! Maybe he’ll fly us wherever we want to go! Maybe he’ll serve us drinks! And little bags of peanuts! Get your own ride!
Leg-O-Lamb: You should be ashamed of yourself! You’re no Elf! You’re an Elvish impersonator! You sicken me, deceitful one.
Ear-O-Corn: Oh right! Like YOU’RE a real elf! Give the gourd a bow and arrow and he’s a REAL Elf!
Ear-O-Corn: We’ll create a distraction! Does anyone have a banjo and an inflatable turkey?
Rack: I’m Shadrach!
Shack: I’m Meshach!
Benny: [trying to say ‘Abednego’] I’m a bumblebee!… Abendyboo!… I’m Benny!
Tom: Hey Bean-boy! You been gluing peas to your noggin?
Junior Asparagus: They called me Bean-Boy and said I had peas on my head!
Laura: You’re a talking WEED!
Rumor Weed: I’m a talking weed, you’re a talking carrot. Your point was?
Sedgewick: I don’t think that’s possible. And that’s coming from a guy who just swam 92 nautical miles without arms or legs.
Larry: And I just stood there until the fire department came and broke the lock with a crow bar and I had to spend the next SIX weeks in a lip rehab with this kid named Oscar who got stung by a bee, right on the lip! and we couldn’t even talk to each other until the FIFTH week ’cause both of our lips were SO swollen, and when he did start speaking he only spoke Polish and I only know, like, three words in polish, except now I know four because Oscar taught me the word for lip: Usta!
Larryboy: I laughed, I cried, it moved me Bob.
Bob: [singing (after the lyrics had been shredded then taped back together)] Lance’s purple turtle shell has ketchup if you please… Pineapples are shiny. .. Spotted tiki bumble bees! — Oh man!!
Larry: Compared to God, the Slime Monster is like a teeny little cornflake!
Junior Asparagus: Yeah, but the Slime Monster can squirt slime out of His ears! Can God squirt slime out of His ears?
There really are so many great quotes that I could never hope to remember them all right now! But you get the idea… Veggie Tales is really great! If you haven’t watched any of the movies, you really should. They aren’t “kids’ movies”, they’re for everyone!