Something To Think About

I have been noticing that I tend to reply a bit robotically to people who ask, “How are you doing today?”  It seems to me that most people don’t really expect me to answer them.  It’s not a question, it’s a greeting.  It’s like saying, “Hey there!”  So I just usually respond in the simplest possible way, the way everyone seems to expect me to respond: “I’m doin’ pretty good” or “I’m doin’ okay.”  However, sometimes that’s just a big lie.

Sometimes, I’m not doing good.  Sometimes, I’m not okay.  Sometimes, I want to look that person in the eyes and ask, “Do you really care?  Does it really matter to you how I’m doing?”  But that would most likely offend them, and we wouldn’t want to do that!

Sometimes, I just need someone to give me a hug and tell me everything is going to be okay.  But what would people do if I actually told them that?

Sometimes, what I really want to do is scream or hit something… do something to vent all of the pent up frustration, anger, stress…  But that’s not acceptable behavior.  And it certainly isn’t something people expect you to tell them when they ask how you’re doing, right?  I mean, I’m sure that’s way more information than most people would want.

It seems like such a lie, though, to tell someone I’m doing okay when I am so not okay right then!

So, how should I respond to someone who asks me how I’m doing?  I like Dave Ramsey’s response… “Better than I deserve”, but that sorta feels like his line.  Maybe, “Better than I could be”?  I don’t know.  I guess I’ll think of something.

This has also gotten me to thinking about how I ask people how they are doing.  Yes, I do this just as often as anyone else.  Do I always really want to know how a person is doing?  No.  Should I ask if I don’t want to know the truth?  I don’t think so.  The thing is, I don’t think this should cause me to stop asking people how they’re doing.  I think it should cause me to make a point to ask and really care about what they are saying.  I want people to know that when I ask them how they’re doing, I really do want to know!  I want to care!

Okay, I feel like I’m rambling…  Sometimes I’m not all that great at getting what’s in my head across to people in a way that makes sense.  So, while this made perfect sense in my head, maybe it doesn’t to you.  And that’s okay.  I just needed to get it out.  You know?  It’s like, sometimes I get something in my head and I can’t just keep it there.  I have to tell someone, so (unless it’s just totally ridiculous 😉 ) I might as well share it on here.  Right?

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About Aerykah

I'm a 26-year-old Christian homeschool graduate from Oklahoma, USA. I thoroughly enjoy reading, writing, and photography... among other things. ;)
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2 Responses to Something To Think About

  1. Salyna Gyger says:

    I completely agree with this Areykah and it is something that I have struggled with for a long time. When people ask me how I am doing I want to tell them, but I also get embarrassed of what they might think of me since I would tell them way more than what they expected. Furthermore, I get scared that they might blow me off and not ask again if I poor my heart out to them that first time. How do we find a balance? How do we tell people how we are feeling? How do we know if they truly care? And how do we show others that we care about them as well?

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    • Aerykah says:

      Exactly! I fear how people will respond to what I say, so I try to just respond in the way I think they expect me to respond. Unless it’s someone I know well (close friends, family, etc.), then I know that I can be honest with them and they won’t… reject me? It’s that fear that holds us back. I hate it, really, but I have such a hard time overcoming it!
      How do we find the balance? I’m still trying to figure that out. I just try to pick and choose who I’m really open with — I try to give a vague, yet honest answer like, “better than I could be,” to most people, while really expressing myself to those closer to me that are genuinely interested in my reply.
      As for showing others that we care, I think that’s hard to do. I don’t know… I don’t think I’m good at it. People probably think of me the same way I do them — She doesn’t really care, so why is she even asking how I’m doing? I’m trying to do better, but some advice would be helpful.

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